Friday, January 29, 2010


Remember when all kinds of stuff started being recalled?  I think it started a couple of years ago with children's cold medicine. (And may I say, for the record, that those people who cannot figure out the correct dosage for their children have totally screwed it for the rest of us who just want our kid to get some relief from horrible stuffiness and hacking coughs.  Jerks.)

Somehow when all that started I signed up to get email alerts from the government whenever anything gets recalled.  That is some interesting shit.  Some of it is awful - hello strollers amputating tips of fingers!?!  But other ones?  As long as no injuries have actually happened, I just have to giggle a little bit.  Because it seems that whatever the thing is, it is often being recalled for what it sounds like it is supposed to do.  For example, Ammonia is a chemical, correct?

 "Ammonia Recalled by OnLine Packaging Due to Chemical Hazard"

Gas Grills - tend to utilize fire to cook things...

"Sagittarius Sporting Goods Recalls Gas Grills Sold at Lowe's Stores Due to Fire and Burn Hazards"

I think anyone using a log splitter would keep in the back of their head to be careful!

"MTD Recalls Log Splitters Due to Amputation Hazard"

 And then there are the ones where you really have to ask yourself.  Shouldn't someone, somewhere along the line have tested for this?

"The Life is Good Company Travel Mugs Recalled Due to Burn Hazard.
Hazard: The travel mugs can become excessively hot to the touch when filled with hot liquids, posing a burn hazard to consumers."
We're making a travel coffee mug!  Hey, do you think we should test how hot it gets when we put something hot in there?  Nah...

 And this one!  Where are the editors!?!
"Home Improvement Books Recalled by Oxmoor House Due to Faulty Wiring Instructions; Shock or Fire Hazard to Consumers
Hazard: The books contain errors in the technical diagrams and wiring instructions that could lead consumers to incorrectly install or repair electrical wiring, posing an electrical shock or fire hazard to consumers."

Let me tell you something else.  If I had a buck for every hooded sweatshirt with drawstrings that gets recalled I'd be a freaking millionaire.  Why anyone is still making these things is a mystery.  In 1996 the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission issued guidelines about drawstrings in sweatshirts and jackets.  1996, people!!  Can we get it together already!

So remember, keep your kids away from strollers and hooded sweatshirts and seriously, everything is covered in lead paint.  Just get them a cardboard box to play with or something.  Let's all be safe out there.


Steam Me Up, Kid said...

My hoodie drawstrings are always trying to kill me, either by strangling me in my sleep or creeping down my shirt and convincing me I've got bugs in my bra. That second part could be lethal, trust me. Like, if I tried to kill the bra bugs with a gun.

I'm unno go lick smore lead.

Octopunk said...

Aw, man! I was just about to mix myself a nice Stoli and ammonia, too. You totally ruined it.

And I only buy log splitters that are amputation hazards. Otherwise how do you know if you got a good one?

Carolyn...Online said...

People are stupid and the government enables them.

Also, don't let Scott know about about the log splitter... that's all I need in the backyard.

Laggin said...

Drawstring hoodies should be recalled just for the pain in the ass they cause when the string comes out in the dryer and someone wants you to put it back in.

The Floydster said...

Too funny!

bernthis said...

r u kidding? How about eat chicken, don't eat chicken, beef no beef, pie no oh wait, I don't care what they say about pie, I'm eating it

Stacia said...

I knew I couldn't be the only mom out there smart enough to figure out the dosage on my kiddos' cough medicine (and to take all hoodies to Goodwill immediately upon receipt). Nice to meet you. =>

MsPicketToYou said...

so we've had to tear down all these old playgrounds because of the arsenic in the wood. costs 100s of 1000s. turns out a kid would have to eat THE ENTIRE playground to get sick. my kid's always eating unclean snow but damn if ever ATE A SWINGSET.