Thursday, October 28, 2010

Lies, Lies, Lies, yeah

Wonderboy had a bit of a breakdown the other night.  It was one of those nights where everything was jammed into a small space of time so after dinner it was pretty much right into bedtime.  This inevitably leads to both kids getting out of bed several times for the usual potty, need water, potty again, etc, etc.  We had about reached out limit when WB comes downstairs and said he peed in his bed, "while he was dreaming."  (Mind you, this was about five minutes after his last foray downstairs.)  I'm so fed up at this point that I tell him to get a towel (since I'm sure it's a only a little spot.)  Well he's up there saying it's coming through the towel, yada, yada, whine, whine.

So I go upstairs to find a HUGE wet spot in the middle of his bed.  Immediately I am suspicious.  I reach out and feel his pajama shorts which are bone dry.  Then I notice his empty sippy cup on the floor.
The second I question him on this he starts crying and carrying on, swearing up and down that it was really pee.  By this time I am ripping his sheets off the bed, completely furious.  He's in the bathroom crying away.  I go in and look at him and say, "Tell me the truth.  Right now.  Did you spill that water?"  To which he answers, "Yes."

Of course, by this time, he's so emotional it's pointless to get angrier with him.  And mostly what I wanted was him to tell me the truth.  I get his bed remade and we go back in and lay down together.  I tell him how incredibly important it is for him to tell us the truth.  That we will always love him, no matter what.  I ask him why he did it.  He says he really missed us and wanted to spend more time with us.  (Ugh. Let me remove that dagger from my heart.)  We talked about this for awhile and decided we will try harder to get dinner earlier so we will have time to hang out before bed.  We decided to get a Family Calendar so that we can mark days where we will be able to do something special together - or just be together as that is sometimes challenging with our schedules.

Then he starts to talk about school.  Mostly about how he misses us and wishes he didn't have to go.  But then he mentions that his friends don't play with him at recess.  Which sounds weird because after school he always has a bunch of kids he plays with at the playground.  Next he says this other "big" kid makes fun of him.  At this point, I am of two minds: One being concern that there is some kind of bullying going on - and Two, that I'm being played.  I question him some more and it's all very vague.  He doesn't know the kid's name (Fishy clue #1, WB knows everybody's name)  I asked if he's told a teacher. "They think I'm not telling the truth because I don't know his name." Hmm.  I say he should try to find out his name so we can address the problem.  We talk about it for a few minutes more and then he says, "Nevermind about what I was saying before.  That was just in my IMAGINARY school."


"Okay," I say (deep breath), "let's talk about your real school.  And let's remember how important it is to tell the truth.  Do you play with your friends at recess?" 
"Are there any kids that are giving you a hard time or being mean to you?"

GAH!  Is this all just attention-getting behavior?!?!  Obviously I want to take him seriously - especially about stuff that happens at school - but his history in the honesty department is a little shaky.  I'm not one to want to squelch his imagination, however I have to draw the line somewhere. 

Sigh.  Just another one of those nights that prove to you that parenting is a lot of guess-work.  Right now, we are focusing on seeing that WB gets some more "hang with Daddy and Mommy" time.  And daily reminders of how much we love the truth. 

Some days I really think we should have just stuck with the dogs.


Laggin said...

Sounds pretty normal. I remember when Younger would lay in bed at about that age and utter in a most dramatic tone, "It just feels like something is missing." And I alternatingly wanted to hug and strangle her.

Isn't amazing how they can guilt-trip you?

Logical Libby said...

You're tougher than I am. I would have given him my credit card after the first time he wanted to spend more time with me.

Aging Mommy said...

First of all where have you BEEN? I have missed you. Secondly, do NOT worry about this. A lot of children go through this stage. My sister went through it, creating all sorts of stories about school and more, lots of "imaginary" tales which led to my mother going to the school once only to find it was all fabrication. It started about the age your son is now and went on for a little while, but then stopped. She grew out of it.

Hang on in there and don't let him make you head down the guilt trip road either.

Cheryl said...

Aw cutie, sorry twas a tough night. I don't know shit about any of this. I do know I've missed you sorely.

for a different kind of girl said...

I'm with the others. I think this is a phase we all go through with our kids. I can understand why alarm bells would go off at the idea he might be having troubles with others, and if you learned that WAS the case, well, it would be a different story, but I think this is just one of those things where some good times with Mom and Dad and some talking may squelch it in the end.

Also, thanks for giving me an opportunity to use the word 'squelch.' :)

Captain Dumbass said...

I love those nights. You finally manage to get them in bed and quiet and your favourite show is already half way through and you're too exhausted to do anything but just go to sleep.

Octopunk said...

My only concern is that his lies are so easily picked apart. He should've saved some water for his PJs. Sloppy, sloppy.

Zip n Tizzy said...

It's the age.

I taught everyone in my class "Sign Language" and spoke "Spanish" when I was his age- "Lokarruka perocuralla blangasa." Which means "absolutely nothing."

It's a drag when you've done tucking in and all you really want to do is put your feet up!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I'm with you on the "go to bed already stuff" - but we have of yet to experience that level of tricks and lies. Oliver is just too delayed and the twins haven't figured it out yet. But God help us when they do (and when Oliver possibly catches on as well - it could be all three at the same time!)

I agree - a phase. And you are handling it splendidly. Not getting hung up on the "lies" part and worrying more about the "why" part. I'm taking notes...

myfluffybunnies said...

I'm so not ready for the post-toddler years. Heck, I'm not even ready for those, even though I'm in the throes of them! =>