Thursday, July 8, 2010

Weepy-101

I fucked up at work today.  Pretty badly.  Not "You're fired" badly, but bad enough. It was just something stupid, really.  Not seeing the big picture.  But man, seeing that look in my boss' eyes.  It's like disappointing my father; I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear. 

I managed not to actually cry at work though - 'cause that's always fun.  As soon as I was out and able to call the Mr. though - the tears started flowing.  Yet another moment when I wish to god I wasn't so emotional.  And here I gnash my teeth when the WB starts up.  Hellllooooo, genes.  Are there emotional genes?  Let's just say yes and call it a day.

I have to say though - I feel very, very sorry for people who don't have some sort of support system when they get home.  Because nothing in the world will make you forget about your dismal work situation then your 4yr old daughter telling you when you pick her up from pre-school that, "You're the best, Mama."  Or having your husband come home with open arms for a big, long hug (and a bottle of wine too!)

And yes, even though I remain a little weepy, I'll get through it.  I'll toe the line at work (must google where that phrase came from. And shouldn't spell-check recognize "google" by now?  Ah-ha.  Apparently it does recognize it if you capitalize the "G" - and just for that, I'm not.)  I do really need to get my focus together with the work factor.  Maybe this is the wake up call I need.  That and the realization that I should really, probably, finally, after all these years find myself a good therapist and get my shit together!!!  (Part of that whole 39 year thing.)

Anyhoots - sorry, this post is kind of all over the map.  Much like my brain of late.  Har-dee-har-har.  Enough about me, how was your day?

13 comments:

Logical Libby said...

Remember that work only rents you. You own you. Well, you and your bookie...

Aging Mommy said...

I'm sorry you had such a bad day at work. I had one very major screw up at work many years ago of the sort to get the attention of the highest of the high in my company and it took me a good while to get over it. But I do remember getting home that night, finally, totally deflating and seeing my husband waiting at the window for me. It was all I needed right then and as you say had I been on my own it would have been a horribly long night.

All I can tell you is that memories are short - you're only as good as the last big thing you did so when the next big thing turns out just fine and dandy people will not remember this incident.

For Myself said...

I'm sorry you're hurting. I recommend really loud, upbeat music and a run. Or getting hammered. Which ever works!

Captain Dumbass said...

I've been a little cranky cause its been so hot and I took all the baby feeds last night, thanks for asking.

Sorry about work, but at least you don't work in a nuclear power plant or something, right?

Cheryl said...

Sweetie, who needs a therapist when you've got a 4-year old and a husband who adore you? Unless of course you don't adore you then maybe that's not gonna cut it.

Guess what? I've learned more from my mistakes than I have from my successes. Especially the really big messes I never thought I'd recover from.

Hope you have a super-de-duper weekend! Rest easy.

江冠彭珮李佳宏陽筠 said...

下次再來希望可以看到新的作品喔。..................................................

童雅 said...

Quietude is the crown of life.............................................................

for a different kind of girl said...

What the Chinese folks said up there? I second that. I'm sure it's incredibly profound, and beside, if 'quietude' isn't an actual word, I think it should be.

Also, I'm sorry you had such a tough day, but hope it's been better since then. I think we've all been there. Sometimes I miss the job I had where I had my own office and could close the door when I thought I was going to lose it. Now I have to wait until my shift ends and I can get to my car and can tear up in quietude.

:)

myfluffybunnies said...

Oh, man, this sucks. I hate those days. We once printed 30,000 copies of a booklet with the word "county" instead of "country." I proofread it. Hated that day. Cried and cried and cried. Sending hugs (and a virtual bottle of wine)!!

ju吳phe宇te佳ns said...

人生的「三部曲」應該是無愧的昨天,充實的今天,與充滿希望的明天。..................................................

Kate Coveny Hood said...

A little late since I was out of town last week... But I've SO been there. Not fun. Hope it's faded some since that day...

Carolyn...Online said...

It also wants you to capitalize internet. But I won't do it!

婷珊 said...

It is never too late to learn. ............................................................