Saturday, July 17, 2010

Lawn Zen

Or the things that go through my mind while mowing our lawn.  I should preface by saying that we haven't mowed our lawn in close to a month. I KNOW!  Thank god we don't have a neighborhood association as I'm sure they would have been burning us in effigy.  Although that may have helped slow the lawn growth.

The reason it has gone on so long is that we are just crazazy busy and it's been mother-lovin' hot and when we finally get home the very, very last thing either the Mr. or I want to do is mow the damn lawn.  So we've been ignoring it.  But last night, I could do it no more.  So after setting the lawn mower on its very highest wheel height, I ventured into the meadow with my Sony discman blasting the Blues Brothers - which is my lawn-mowing soundtrack. 

Yes, I did say Sony discman.  I do not own an I-pod like the rest of the known world.  And, about fifteen minutes in, when the batteries on my awesome portable disc player died? And we had no replacements? I was seriously cursing the I-Podless situation.  Damn thing cut out right in the middle of Aretha Franklin too.

So I was left to my own wandering thoughts. First of which was that I am unwittingly now a snail murderer.  Remember that movie with the evil frogs?  I just remember the end shot with the big old house covered in frogs. That's sort of what our lawn looked like.  Long blades of grass with snails.  I think I mowed over about a million snails.  Wiped out entire colonies.  Poor things, never knew what hit them.  I hope they don't organize and come after us.  *shudder*

Did anyone else go through a stage in...maybe middle school...where "riddles" were popular?  Two of the ones I thought of last night were, "The music stopped, and she died."  And the other one, "A guy is dead (why they all involved dead people, I'm not sure) in a room locked from the inside. There is nothing in the room except the dead body and a puddle of water.  How did he die?"  Those were some real brain teasers.  Why they suddenly came to mind while I was mowing the lawn, I have no idea.  Maybe it was all the snail murder going on.

I thought about my lack of blogging this summer.  And decided not to get too het up about it.  Been there - done that.  Doin' what I can.

The Pixie and WB were inside watching a Power Rangers movie while I was out mowing and she came out periodically to tell me a)She was hiding in the closet during the scary parts b)She was now having a picnic on the living room floor and c) she just wanted to give me a kiss.  Awwwwwww.

Finally - what a total sense of accomplishment you get from mowing the lawn.  It's something so tangible, you know?  First - it's an ankle-high crab-grass fest and then, at the end?- it's all lovely rows.  Covered in snail remnants.  Pretty!

Oh. And ten points to anyone who can figure out the riddles.

16 comments:

Octopunk said...

The woman was on one of those old iron lungs that were run by the steam residue from the large brass calliope of the time -- as was widely known when the riddle was new, the drawback to those was that they had to be played constantly.

And the man was murdered by a sentient but crazy puddle of water. Get a towel and arrest it!

So obvious.

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

I won't lie... I goggled the answers to the riddles. Sad, but true.

Meanwhile, I adore you for having a preferred lawn mowing soundtrack. Double adore that it is The Blues Brothers.

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

(Yeah. I meant Googled. But you know, goggled's kinda works too.)

myfluffybunnies said...

I'm terrible at riddles, but I can mow a mean lawn. And maybe you should get an iPod as a belated birthday present?? =>

Cheryl said...

I googled or goggled, too. Slapping my forehead over the puddle guy cuz I should have remembered that one. D'oh!

Our lawn is currently composed of something that resembles grass and whole bunch of bittersweet that my husband is gonna freak out about when he realizes he can't kill it. Too hot, too busy, too lazy.

Aging Mommy said...

Don't know the answers to the riddles either - never been any good at them! I don't own an i-Pod or any other fancy gadgetry either, but then again I don't mow the lawn either however I do think you deserve a new toy to listen to your music on next time you take on that herculean task!

msprimadonna67 said...

Ooh, if I had a Homeowner's Association, they'd probably have already run us out on a rail a very long time ago. Do they still run people out on rails? What does that even mean? It does sound slightly better than being burned in effigy, at least: )

蔡靜芳蔡靜芳 said...

永遠不要躊躇伸出你的手。也永遠不要躊躇接受別人伸出的手。.................................................................

minivan soapbox said...

I don't mow the lawn. It's a blue job in our house. But unfortunately the rest of the yard seems to fall under "pink job" - so i have to do all the weeding.

for a different kind of girl said...

The first frog and I'd have been done. I mean, come on, I freaked the hell out over a baby bird in my garage last week, so NO WAY i could do things that could hop on me in revenge!

All that said, though, I'm considering caving and mowing our yard tomorrow so I can one up the neighbor, who keeps inching closer and closer into our yard when he mows his!

Logical Libby said...

The real riddle is how you still have a working discman. Mine used to break like three days in every time!

Captain Dumbass said...

Aretha Franklin? Some good lawn mowing tunes in there.

Go get an iPod.

莊雅和莊雅和莊雅和 said...

Joy often comes after sorrow, like morning after night.. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

黃黃莉茹曉元 said...

多譏樓主分享 正野緊係要回啦............................................................

逸蔡凡逸蔡凡逸蔡凡 said...

人生中最好的禮物就是屬於自己的一部份............................................................

Zip n Tizzy said...

Your lawn would match mine!
I hated those riddles, and even bow after hearing them so many times, I can't remember the answers. (or figure them out!)