Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Steps

I didn't think I would cry.  It actually took me completely by surprise when I felt the tears prickle at my eyes.  Me, who had been so gung-ho about the whole idea of this trip.  For you see, today I put the Wonderboy and my step-Mom, WB's Nana, on a plane.  He is going for a visit to FL, by himself.  She and my Dad called me almost two months ago with the idea.  "We want Wonderboy to come down."  I said I thought that was a fabulous idea.  And I meant it.

Nana was coming up to see us and attend a family birthday party.  My niece and nephew turned two and my sisters decided on a joint Pirate and Princess party.  (More on that later - great time!)  So it was arranged.  He would return to FL with Nana.  He will come back up North by himself.  I didn't hesitate on this.  Time alone with my parents?  Fully undivided special attention on my boy?  No way would I ever deny any of them the pleasure this trip will have.  I will be nervous for him when he comes home next week.  Although I never said that to him in all the time we have been talking about the trip.  He is the first grandchild to fly by himself  - closely guarded by his JetBlue attendant - and we have made a big deal out of that.  I don't want him to be scared in the slightest.

I will worry about other things.  Like his behavior and whether he remembers to chew with his mouth closed.  If he will fuss or get dramatic at bed-time.  I'm hoping he will be so worn out from going swimming and playing with Papa and riding in the golf cart, that bedtime will be easy. 

The day finally arrived and I was so excited for him when we all woke up this morning.  He was going to school and Nana and I would pick him up at 1:30pm.  As my day progressed I became aware of how blue I was feeling.  Pixie and I were at my sister's for lunch and she asked what was wrong.  My sister asked me if I was nervous for WB.  But it wasn't really that.  I wasn't nervous at all.  I was sad.  I realized how much I was going to miss him.  Even though I'd like to put him on a plane to Timbuktu some days, in reality, it was pretty hard to let him go.

Of course I did.  Even now they are up in the wild blue yonder, on their way to sun and fun.  I am truly thrilled for him and so grateful to my parents for this special, special trip.  And if I have to have a little private cry now and again over the next five days...well, it will be worth it.

13 comments:

Logical Libby said...

It's so weird that we spend the first years of life waiting for kids to grow up, and the next ones regretting that they do.

This will be a great adventure for him.

Aging Mommy said...

Oh my poor heart, reading your words it is literally flipping over imagining how you must be feeling as I try to imagine the day when my daughter does something like that.

You are a wonderful Mom to let your boy go on this trip, to take that adventure and such responsibility, coming back on his own.

Just beautifully written, you are so right, there are indeed days when exile to Timbuktu sounds idyllic but how hard in reality it is to think of letting them go.

If you need tissues I have plenty :-)

Octopunk said...

I hope he remembers you when he comes back.

You big softie. I'm hugging you in my mind right now.

bernthis said...

i have to give my kid to my ex for 8days twice a year. It blows big time. I know how you feel

Cheryl said...

Being a mom is a tough gig.

myfluffybunnies said...

Oh, man, I will bawl when it's my turn for this. Hope he has a fabulous time and you don't worry too much. Maybe you can celebrate his return with a Princess and Pirate party ... How fun is that??

for a different kind of girl said...

What a grand adventure for him! I hope you've gotten an update from him and found he's having a fantastic time, and he's going to come home filled with such fun things to share with you!

(ps - I'd totally cry a little bit, too!)

minivan soapbox said...

You are truly a better woman than I....I don't think I would ever have the courage to do this. Even at....I don't know....17. I'm sure it's hard - go give yourself a hot bath, a glass of wine and good long cry.

carissajaded said...

There's nothing wrong with a good cry every now and then, and wow - seriously- I would too!

Carolyn...Online said...

Wonder Boy will have the best time. And so will your dad and Trish.

Captain Dumbass said...

Can't imagine having to do that with my little punks. Well, when they're not screaming.

明NathanA_Schulle said...

真正的愛心,是照顧好自己的這顆心。.............................................

myfluffybunnies said...

How's the trip going??